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13 Things Mentally Strong People
Don’t do
In this digital age, almost every one of us is suffering in one way or another. The principal reason behind this suffering is our volatile nature, and our tendency towards emotional vulnerability. Technologically, we may have been advancing, but mentally, we have been regressing. Progress in one direction and regress in another is having a heavy toll on our mental health. This is why, every third person has a psychological disorder, as per reports. To address these issues, this book, “13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t do”, is an antidote. This book helps in building up an invincible character that cannot be easily exposed to harmful things that have their effect on the mental being of an individual.
The author’s experience through hard times.
In this book, Amy Morin gives a brief account of herself: how she went through a tragic journey. As a therapist, she got great success professionally. Soon got married, and bought house. Life seemed a bed of roses to her until she got a call from her sister, informing about her mother’s critical condition. She rushed to the hospital along with her husband, only to hear her mother has been expired due to Brain aneurysm. Amy was so devastated at the sudden demise of her mother. Soon she started to heal. After 3rd death anniversary of her mother, she was invited along with her husband to a basketball game by her close friends. Amy Morin had a great time with friends there in the same hall where she saw last time her mother. Shortly after reaching home, her husband collapsed due to a heart attack. At the age of 26, she found herself a widow. It was a very painful period for her. It was then she realized good habits are not enough when someone is going through tough times. It takes only one or two small bad habits to hold you back. Through that period, she held out hope that someday life could get better. And eventually, it did when she met Steve, fell in love with him, and later on married him. Again, she got a fresh start in her life. But that did not continue for long either, as Steve’s dad suffered from terminal cancer. She started to think, “Why do these always have to keep happening?” “Why do I have to keep losing all my loved ones?” “This is not fair”. If she learned anything from all that was that way of thinking would hold her back. She knew she was going to need as much mental strength as she could muster to get through one more loss. Hence she sat down and wrote the list of all things that mentally strong people don’t do. All these were things only a reminder of small habits that would stuck Amy Morin. Her journey taught her that the secret to being mentally strong was that she had to give up her bad mental habits. Following is the list of those 13 things that mentally strong people don’t do.
List of 13 things mentally strong people don’t do.
1. They don’t waste time feeling sorry for themselves.
2. They don’t give away their power.
3. They don’t shy away from change.
4. They don’t waste energies on things they cannot control.
5. They don’t worry about pleasing everyone.
6. They don’t mind taking calculated risks.
7. They don’t dwell on the past.
8. They don’t make the same mistakes over and over.
9. They don’t resent other people success.
10. They don’t give up after the first failure.
11. They don’t fear alone time.
12. They don’t feel the world owes them anything.
13. They don’t expect immediate results.
Three destructive beliefs that hold us back.
According to the author, Amy Morin, there are three types of destructive beliefs that make us less effective and sap our mental strength. The first one is certainly unhealthy beliefs about ourselves. We often tend to feel sorry for ourselves. Well, it is fine to be sad when something bad occurs. Self-pity goes beyond that. It is when you start to magnify your misfortune. This kind of thinking keeps you stuck, and resist you to find the solution. Even when you fail to find the solution, you can always take steps to make your life or somebody else’s life better. But you cannot do that when you are busy hosting your own pity party.
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| -Amy Morin |
Next, the other destructive belief is our unhealthy beliefs about others. We think other people can control us, thus giving away our power to them. If you say, “ I have to work late”. In doing so, you give away your power. It is possible that if you don’t work late, there may be severe consequences. But the truth is, it is still a choice. Or when you say, “My boss drives me crazy”. Basically, you are giving away your power. So it depends totally upon you how you respond to these matters.
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| -Amy Morin |
The last belief that holds us back is unhealthy beliefs about the world. We tend to think the world owes us something- a sense of entitlement. When I say, “ I work really hard, therefore I deserve success”. Expecting success to fall into my lap will only lead me to disappointment.
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I don't exactly know what is giving me the urge to buy Amy Morin's book- the review about the book or the details of Amy's life. Either way, I'd like to buy it. The best part is that I am not even into non-fiction! The 10 points have also piqued my interest to know what else the book holds in store.
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